Stress Management - A Solution Approach
by Robert B McNeilly MBBS

Stress as a phenomenon has become increasingly taking our attention. But what is stress?

What differentiates stress from tension, depression, stretched, overwhelmed, bored, uncertain, anxious, sad, adapting to change?

Can stress be relieved, or just managed? Can it be prevented?

How can we manage stress? Is it more than eating good food, taking good exercise, and thinking good thoughts? Is it necessary to learn to meditate, or can we design more specific, more easily acceptable, more contemporary measures.

Everywhere we hear of change, and of increasing, even accelerating change. My father came from Scotland at the age of 14, and only a year later he joined an insurance company. He retired from that same insurance company 50 years later! How many of us will work in the same career even for 20 years! Our children are likely to have many career changes over their working life. We could say we are living in a time of crisis of change.

As a result of this massive change, there is another crisis upon us - a crisis of meaning. For us humans this is a tremendous difficulty. Meaning has always been a core concern for us humans, and when there is such a deep and wide challenge to meaning, with the post constructivists challenging the very source of meaning itself. We could say that one of the crises of our time is a crisis in meaning itself. It not surprising then that “stress” appears!

But what is stress? This will be a pivotal question to address if we are to provide effective assistance for this ever increasing problem.

What follows is not meant to be in any way a definitive method of treating “stress”, but rather some experiences which have come out of workshops I have led in this fascinating area.

One of our ongoing lessons is the unpredictability of us human beings. The vast majority of “stress” problems resolve themselves or are attended to by family or friends. The other end of the dilemma is that whatever our level of skill and good heartedness, there will always be those we are unable to help. The simple recognition of this can be so stress relieving for us as health professionals. We can only do what we can, and that can be enhanced by attending to some general principles, some of which I have outlined below.

Individual definition of “Stress.”

I have found it most helpful to put aside my understanding of what is stress, and ask for details of the experience.

Questions to unpack the experience of “stress”:-

What is stress to you?
If you were to use another word to describe your situation, what would that be?
Stress is a word, and like any word has different meaning for different people. What does it mean to you?
How does your experience of stress interfere with your life? How does it limit you?

When I ask such questions people answer with comments such as I feel overwhelmed, confused, sad; I am uncertain about coping with change; I don’t know how to manage; I don’t know what to do about my teenage child’s behaviour. These comments tend to have a more everyday mood about them, and frequently, just to have this description which is the person’s, not mine, can in itself lessen the intensity of the experience, and make it more manageable.

The label of stress is rather amorphous and when it is exchanged for sad, not coping, overwhelmed, etc., these are experiences we have all had and dealt with to varying degree and so the situation becomes more doable.

When stress translates into sadness, we can explore the sadness - is it perhaps healthy and understandable after the loss of a loved one for example? Sometimes this exploration is in itself sufficient to deal with the stress and the patient can recognise and say with relief - “So it’s alright for me to feel sad, isn’t it?” - this may be all that was needed.

Someone suffering from the stress of not coping is often relieved to discover that what they are trying to cope with is not personal - many others may also be coping with similar problems - or that their reaction may be a normal reaction to an abnormal situation - who wouldn’t be upset if someone died, lost their job, etc. - can already reduce the intensity of the unwanted experience.

When someone suffering from stress states that they are feeling overwhelmed, this is already something to attend to - by looking to find support, offload some duties, learning to not take on new pressures.

Also by asking for individual responses, the counselling process can be tailored to fit the individual, so it is more effective.

Conclusion

By asking each individuals how “stress” effects them personally, by then looking for what is missing, we have the opportunity to more rapidly and effectively address the problem.