Dignity
Consulting the Inner Compass

By Coleen Gray

March 8th is recognised across the world as International Women’s Day (IWD), a time to celebrate the changes that have brought equality and recognition to women thus far, and to reflect on the many contributions that women make to society.

As modern life evolves at a dizzying pace, women’s roles are no longer prescribed by the neat and tidy labels of ‘motherhood’, ‘gender’ or ‘age’. The opportunities are kaleidoscopic and sometimes overwhelming. If life is a process of transformation, then the rules are continually being revised and women are continually adapting.

As Gabriel Garcia Marquez says;

Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them; life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.

Just when we get to where we were going, we find ourselves still on the road to becoming. As we break through one boundary, we find new boundaries ahead. During this process, it is okay to just be human, to recognise our limitations and imperfections, and know that it is just part of the journey.

Through it all, we need a reference point which acts as our own True North; a place of balance between duty and self-interest, compassion and assertiveness, restriction and aspiration. This reference point is our personal dignity – a gift we can give to ourselves, no matter what our circumstance. This dignity allows us to say, “This is who I am; that is what I want”.

It takes more than self-confidence to explore and expose ourselves to new challenges. Dignity enables us to see our inherent worth and to know that we entitled to unconditional respect, regardless of our age, sex, health, social or ethnic origins. It is enough that we are ourselves, and that we exist.

Dignity allows us to be in touch with what we want, rather than reacting to what everyone else wants us to be or do. In this way, dignity becomes our compass needle, helping us to make the difficult decisions of life. With a sense of dignity, we can choose to love or reject, protect or set free, be hard or soft, help or stand back, collaborate or be independent. Rather than being held back by the fear of making mistakes, we look forward to the learning that is to come.

Dignity can be fostered by imbibing our thoughts and actions with truth. This truth may not always pleasant, but it has the capacity to move us forward and help us grow. To be able to say, “I want this; I don’t want that,” carries an inherent power that can transform our lives.

Dignity pervades our entire being in many small ways. It exists in our physical expression, in the language we use and the thoughts we engage in while we observe the world. Our dignity is something that other people can sense, and it reveals itself through the many qualities of our personality.

We find dignity in ...

Hope and humour. Humour makes the human condition tolerable; it raises people from suffering to a higher level of being. It is invaluable, for if we can laugh at our own predicament, we can conquer fear.

Tolerance and compassion. Tolerance promotes good relationships between people, while compassion helps us to understand others and provide a protective environment in which people can grow and develop in their way.

Forgiveness and kindness. The only way we can truly survive is to incorporate forgiveness and kindness into our lives. People who do random acts of kindness are happier than miserly types. We must also extend that kindness to ourselves, forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and being prepared to move on from regrets and sadness.

Harmony and balance. In this complex, modern world, with its emphasis on hard work and material success, it is easy to become focused on the mountain of tasks and goals that lie before us. To stay true to ourselves, we need to allow ample time to contemplate, relax and be present. When we take time to do this, we become more open to the truth about ourselves.

By practising these virtues, we generate dignity in our lives. This dignity is all-pervasive and affects the quality of every aspect of our lives. It can be used to measure our actions and choices, if we consider the following:

• What does dignity mean to you?
• In the following areas of your life – family, partnership, work, health, spirituality, finance and recreation - are you expressing yourself truthfully?
• In each of these areas of your life, how do you rate your own self-worth?
• In the past, how have you coped with suffering in your life?
• In the future, how would you aspire to act when faced with suffering?

Embodying Your Dignity

Because dignity is often revealed in the body, here is another exercise which can help you become aware of your dignity:

• Imagine yourself to be a dignified person. How do you sit, stand and move?
• When you think of your dignity, notice where it is located in your body and place your hand over that point. Notice what happens when you do that.
• Can you breathe with dignity?
• Try to perform one household or work chore with increased dignity. Take note of the things you do differently.

By using the body to demonstrate dignity, you will find that certain qualities will immerge, such as relaxation, attentiveness, care or contentment. These qualities are the needles of the compass, pointing to the dignity which is ever-present.

On March 8th, as women celebrate the changes in the world and contemplate the changes that still need to happen, each of us can privately celebrate the person who we are. Whatever the story of our life is, it is our story and is worth the telling.